Me

I have learned how to enjoy danger
As if it is a part of me, there is no fear
There is just a single feeling
A feeling some do not enjoy in a lifetime
A feeling of complete and absolut
Peace.
Danger can be addictive
But I still feel like the same me
I am just no longer
Afraid of living a little bit.
-x-

Over

Thinking.
Now it's the time
To throw it all out
To pour some whisky
Not a sip, drink it up.
Now it's the time
To look at the courage
I did not have the heart to own.
Embrace it.
Power.
Move on, shall we?
Yes we shall.
This is the time,
My tears have to stop
No weakness
Just my heart.
This is what I want
Enough of hurting
I may second guess
I won't regret.
Thinking.
Once again,
Not like before
I am not the same
You've met, hang on.
The malt in my veins
Shall not be in vain.
How does it feel to be strong?
I can see no better time to know.
I'll figure it out
With or without you
The time is now.
Worrying is a need
It has got me this far.
Fearing is a sin,
I don't want anymore scars.
If this is what I have to do,
Let's bring it up.
I'll embrace my darkness
This is my better side.
Let the flames blow up
For this future unknown.
These ashes will wash away,
That's the rest of you in me
Circling the drain.
I could scream it out loud
But my soul just wants to blow it
Off and away
So it begins.
-x-

Corrrect?

Never have I ever been so wrong
So many times in a row
So much in a single year
Though maybe it has been a good thing.
A collection of mistakes,
If one is brave and smart,
Can become an opportunity
To make things right.
The only thing now is finding out
Whether bravery and intelligence
Will once again get along with me.
All I need is a single sign,
Something to prove to me
Trying is still worth it
Feeling is still a priviledge
Living is still different.
I know my forever blury eyesight
May fail to understand what lies ahead
And my long to be recovered heart
May ignore and avoid more than ever before.
I just want to keep going
Step by step
A little bit longer.
Nothing will ever change
If I am not ready to make a couple more of them.
Mistakes.
-x-

Break

Sometimes your heart must stop you
From harming it once more
From leaving it destroyed
Though you may think it is ok
Your mind can only tolerate so much more pain.
For now it feels better to stop
Stop looking for something that never comes
Stop looking for different people
When they are all as hurt as you
It is not easy to give up
However, at least for now, it is the right thing to do.
I fear missing something out
I fear not taking an opportunity
But all the courage I had deep down
Has been taken, no questions asked
No excuses on the way.
If only we could see how much the future hurts
Predict and act before everything gets worse...
I know this is not how love works
I know so much about the "nots"
Perhaps someday I will know about the truth.
No, hope respawns more quickly than I thought,
It is resilient, inconsistent, sttuborn
It makes you feel as if you could...
Sadly, my knees are hurt
My legs are shaken
My eyes are lost.
I'll take a deep breath and fall asleep again
For the mornings require more energy
Than I seem to be able to save
For the nights are full of thoughts
And the thoughts full of pain.
If only we could know beforehand.
-x-