I feel like if I start writing I may never stop again.
So much happened and because of that my whole world felt apart like a sand castle
...who would have guessed..I couldn't, I didn't...
Now all I want is to get rid of this once and for all...
I don't feel like coming back, like ever coming back here,
this city has never told me to leave so clearly before.
I feel like I can for sure go back to the way I was before meeting any of them.
I was better of just surviving the way I was used to.
Now I feel like I need to meet this sort of pattern that has already proved itself useless.
I need a new theory, a new way of life, or a new way to survive.
Because that is all I do, I am not like you, never was, never will.
I may have fooled all of you into this, and I am terribly sorry for it.
It was not my intention to involve so may people into this, I don't even know how I managed to.
But people don't do what they don't want to,
So I must assume you are as damaged as me.
She was, and I know this. I may not know her, I never said I knew. but I know this, this little, just this.
Indeed I am sorry.
Too much time and now I have to leave.
Five years, I knew it would go wrong, this was not how things were supposed to be...
Too much happened, I can't process everything.
This is not my regular life, my theories do not comply.
Now I don't know what to do. At least until I leave of course, after that it'll all be fine.
I'll not be here, they can go back to the way things were.
I have to keep going since this is the only thing I've mastered in these years.
I know this won't fail me up. I know I can figure things out in this amount of time.
Further than that is just useless.
People are too complicated, and when you don't consider yourself as one of them,
it becomes too hard, almost unbearable.
Yes frustration will come, you'd better hope it'll not stay.
Since I am out of clues, I'll stop it here while I've got something to say.
I don't know up to when I'll keep doing this.
This will not save me, though it already have.
This is the only thing that helps when another glass does not.
This is the only thing I know, no one can blame me for.
-x-
