And then?

I sincerely avoid to think of it
What will happen when we do not meet everyday?
Do not spend hours and hours laughing, talking,living?
It's hard to imagine ourselves apart
At least after everything...
Somehow we trust each other
Somehow we do not care about everything else
If we are together, nothing matters
What matters is having fun
In our crazy and so called way
But having it whatsoever
This is our life
Our real life, one may say
And if we are the ones that build reality
If each reality is different
I can say for as little as I have lived
This one is by far unique
I myself would never be able to live it other than like this
-x-

Reasons

It has become predictable as hell
Though I can not avoid to tell
Most of the times I have no idea why
How come these words get out of my mind?
If only one answer could pop out
No worries and no hopes
No tears and no mistakes
I keep chasing a reason
I keep running to fall
So sad everything is coming to place
With or without me
Would not change anything at all
I know this is what I need
If different, guilt would show
It is just complicated to think
When there's nothing else to look for
Ten years from now, I really don't know
I feel alive just for being alive
It was my choice
Why so? No clue
My reasons are not clear yet
Well, I don't think they`ll ever be.
-x-

Life

There are times I think it could never go wrong
But when it happens you all get to get it
I'll be alone as or more as I begun
It's scary, scary as hell
When I think it was my choice, well, what could I do?
I can not blame you, I can not run away
That's just us and it hurts more than I can say
You have no idea, I never thought you would
But I do feel everything, and my heart is dying with it
Dying in a different way, because dead it already was
Well I don't think it will ever live again,
but you all made it a little bit closer to life
however, the line is too tiny
however, I can not hide
It sucks doind these things
I get confused and lost
Because my lack of life was never supposed to be like this
I can not blame you, I would never be able to
I can blame myself and my choices
The tears fall, drop down
This is me again, thinking of you
Wishing I did not love you all.
-x-