New in town

Wish I could summ up in a couple of lines how much things have changed,
How much I cried, doubted myself, gave up,
And with lots of support, got back up.
But it is not as easy as it may seem.
There were lots of things in between,
And even now, nearly two months after it all happened,
I still have trouble processing it.
Yes, I did leave my country and yes,
Here I am doing the craziest thing in my life.
Not quite the way I pictured, but as challenging as I need.
Guess I didn't want to precipitate myself.
Well, this is it now.
I've been away for two months, I am still troubled by loneliness from time to time.
However, nothing is too hard. Not too hard to try.
Sometimes I feel I could just stay here forever.
Sometimes my heart shows up...
I am still getting used to not knowing what happens next.
But I guess it fits me well. I can't ruin what I can't predict.
I can't make mistakes without premisses.
-x- written on 16.12.2011