Morals

Why in heaven do I have to feel so bad about it?
I feel so silly, like I'm a teen all over again...
and I sucked at it...
How weird is it that when I needed to get it off my chest,
I ended up talking to both of them? This is not good at all.
I wanted to do things in a different way, make new choices, try to move on.
I seem to always get back to the same places, people, mistakes.
And since I am aware I am not the most resilient being...
going with the flow just fits me best...
I hate it!
I hate having to feel this bad for something nobody really cares!
I hate this need to manage people's opinions, manage their fucking egos and try to play along.
I hate how no matter their age, people always act as bloddy high school students!
This shitty game of appearances only matters when you have something clear to gain.
And I am not sure I want anything out of it anymore.
-x- written on 26.2.2012