Empty mind

Sometimes I wish I could understand exactly how this helps me.
The truth is I don't know how or why, but these pages just help me empty out my mind.
I guess this is the only way I get to be completely honest without worrying if it will hurt others.
I know people don't really care about things like that.
I know I have suffered a lot because of that.
Well I guess even doing my best to avoid it, I sometimes fall on this old trap.
Right now at least, I don't think I can make this mistake.
Truth is, I am being so careful I may end up missing some opportunities.
It is just a little hard for me.
I tend to use the past as reference, when the point is this is all new for me.
And maybe my old lessons and theories will not work at all...
I only expect to get the most out of it for my future.
After all, this is the single reason why I am taking all these risks.
-x- written on 18.12.2011