Writing

Writing. Right now it seems like the only thing I can do.
The single way out.
Yes, I wanted this. I asked for this. And I need to handle this.
Only by doing that I'll get closer to understanding my life.
What I hate to admit, what I hate just to think, is that I am not the same person anymore.
Even though I can try to leave all this behind and go back to the way I begun,
I could never have more doubts...
My choices now seem to consider much more than they used to, and I have no idea why.
It seems tough, and most of the time it sucks.
I can't control everything any longer, I can't control what I feel.
Yeah, that's right, I can feel.
This single thing does mean a lot.
This little thing confuses my thoughts.
I am starting to doubt myself, in the single moment it is better not...
I must continue to live...
God knows how much can happen in one year.
I know how much it will hurt to leave.
-x-
Written on 1/03/11