Almost there

It's getting closer and closer.
I can't even think of it anymore.
If I get too anxious things will not work out well.
As the distance shortens I feel like I can not leave things the way they are.
So much I still don't understand.
So much I don't think I ever will.
It's almost time.
I am going to start it all over, once again.
I doubt it will be easy, I know I've still got it. I must.
Somehow I feel like growing up for real.
This will be different. This will be fun.
No idea how to make sure I don't end up with the same mistakes.
I just want to go.
I just want to fade away.
-x-
Written on 12-09-2011