A text!

  Since I do not seem to be able to write about what I really need to, let us move on to a different thing here: a text!. I tend not to like these because...well...because I am a fckng lazy little girl, mainly. However, today, nothing else would allow me to express myself better, I don't feel quite misterious to write a poem (or the things I put here usually) neither do I feel like painting or playing my already-forgotten-guitar. And this simple, though not needed explanation, got me a couple of lines so I can really start to make a point here.
  I have no idea why, but my mood changed from "water to wine" as we say in Portuguese. Well, of course I thought a lot about it and why such thing happened. Sadly I managed to extract a couple of explanations from my mind. First and clearly, I did not study 1% of what I was supposed to. Second, when I did try to study, I realised I've got nothing! Then, I received my never-before-talked-about father in order to play his driver around the city. Mixing everything I ended up with some tears and voilá this text (I also got two paragraphs for my college final dissertation but let us not mention this here again...)!
 It is at least fun how I feel confortable writing about anything around here and when I need to write for the sake of my own so-called future, my hands freeze, my ideas vanish. What I feel lacks me the most when it comes to writing for my future's sake is passion. Yes, it's cheesy but it's true. After all the cracks and changes I had to make at my dissertation, after listening to so many people (who seemed quite happy just to ruin my work), I finally decided to follow a friend's advice and drop it. Somehow, when you don't quite love what you are doing, the things others say don't bother you that much. It for sure helps. It is not helping me at all.
 Today I was able to figure a simple thing out. I need the passion, I need to care. Otherwise, I can't do whatever I need to do. This bloddy thought has become my personal curse. I don't want to take any longer to finish my work, since this would mean putting my masters on stand-by. Though,at the same time, I don't want a lame and silly work. My solution is as simple as closing up my eyes, and just like that I am not yet able to achieve it. I must remember nothing lasts forever, nor shall this work. I must get it done and if necessary, forget about it and move on. While nothing changes I'll keep thinking and enjoying my little games.
-x-