Importance

I can say anything with a single word

and everyone will envy me

though I will still be that cold

I won't be able to feel

icy and dry like steel

bad rimes and silly feelings

that's all around my mind

while I'm loosin' and pretending

you are just havin' a life and enjoyin'

what a jackass writing it down

and how pityful to shout it out

I don't really care 'bout what you think

I don't even care why I exist

just fill those blank rows

and hope someone will make it worth

no I'm not that desperate or sad

it's just the real world scares the crap

the lonely nights the partyless days

space for lame thoughts sad face

guess it will be all from now on

get myself up and endure all day

with the crazyest hope

it will be wotrh it 

someday

-x-

she. 1

she was standing in the dark.it was possible to see the bright tears falling from her face. but she did not notice me. she never did, not after that. four years had passed since we stoped looking at each other. though i could not help but read her very own movements and expressions. after a few months i became an interpreter. one single smile with the correct look and hand shake would tell me more about her than an one-hour conversation. though none of my conclusions were tested, routine kept proving my knowledge. during all these years i was capable to understand, predict, feel. but right now, none of my theories fit. she seemed sucessful at last. from the past two years she had gotten herself a wealthy job. every wednesday a couple of friends gathered at her place for glasses of white wine. she had even gotten gerself a new car.all this wasnt enough. that was the first conclusion i was able to take, she was at the window now. i could see the little journal she wrote into every night. her careless caligraphy filled the pages up. for the first time i did not see her drawnings. just words, nothing but them, lots of them. then as a surprise lights came on.

Unknown

It comes quickly

And never fades

You can't control

It's in your mind

Down deep in your soul

No matter what you call 

It takes away

All the hope you thought you had

Everything you've ever felt

It's gone

It's gone.

-x-

Leftovers

Trying not to feel

I feed the pain inside of me

Afraid to add another mistake

To my great collection of years, months, days

Guess I'll never figure it out

Future will arrive

And hope is change will come

Not like the one I fake

Most like the one I seek

It's hard to chase when your legs hurt

But I gotta understand this is how it goes

I am weak. I am naive

Though being young makes one dream

Wish is not to quit

Finding strength wherever I go

Tiny leftovers to feed my soul

-x-

Lost

What to do when you are lost?

Like she said: On the way but still so lost

Whenever you try to figure it out

Even when you know it will never end

You give it a shot, let's try again

But it never leaves

No it never goes away

Your view seems so blur

All your feelings hurt

Future becomes predictable

When all you really want

Is not to fall, not to cry

That's all you can get

A fear worse than death's

Afraid to be what we all seek to

Being human, being alive

A hope for you, a hope for me

Wish at least in that I could believe.

-x-