Fool

Why does it have to feel like that?

I know it was more than I thought,

More than I could have asked for

But now I’m in the between

And it doesn’t even feel as if it was real.

Memories come and go

When I can barely taste your kiss

Memories betray and deceive

When your hug is all I seem to miss

How silly of me to believe.

I cannot help myself,

That spark is all I have been looking for,

The fire I lack, the craziness inside

Missing you like you were mine.

Truth is having fun is addictive,

The danger, the novelty

How can I not enjoy it?

How can you not?

No doubt I have issues,

This has become so much more clear

Everything I do reminds me of it

My sick little mind and its tricks.

If I could control it,

If I could let it be free,

I would be losing a great part of me

Perhaps the part that got you there 

Perhaps the part that makes me question everything.

If only…

If only I thought I could ever feel complete.