Just that

I've felt that so many times before,
but right now I am so lost I can't even avoid.
They all seem to know it so well,
when I would rather not to tell.
Truth is I have no idea where to go from here.
Of course I could stay,
though my fears would not dissapear...
I would feel like I have to share,
like I have to tell them everything I do not dare.
No idea why I feel like this.
The only time I can let it all be,
is when I just can not remeber it.
Yeah you know for sure what I mean.
I have made myself this cold and afraid,
because no one likes to be hurt again and again.
People are just this complicated.
And it seems I am faded to live along with them.
My intelligence is just another cover,
just another layer...
Wish I could live without it all,
wish I was not afraid to fall.
Not afraid to feel,
not afraid of what is real.
Well, I am.
I am that weak,
I am that desperate,
I am that lost.
I don't really care of what you thought...
Thing is, when you never know the difference between dreaming and living,
you get used to choose the later.
I got used to give up on dreaming.
Never had one of those,
and will never know how it feels.
This is the thing killing me.
What hurts is, not talking about it.
Nobody would ever get close to understand.
I'd rather keep on trying to live,
knowing sooner or later it will end.
-x-