Disappear

What a waste of time.
I did everything wrong.
If I was supposed to end up like that
Then why in heaven go through it all?
I wasted my time
Their, his, money...
I never felt so useless,
So lost
What in heaven does she want me to do?
Fuck.
I can't find a way out,
No matter in how many fucking languages I can say that.
And I can't talk to anyone...
Like I ever could.
More than ever, I just want to fade...
I feel like this is enough,
Like I am not going to be able to accomplish anything else.
And this is the truth.
I am done. I should just go and end it all.
What is the fucking point of going on?
I have nobody, no job, nothing...
Wish I could just be by myself for a while,
But more than ever this is impossible.
Fuck it...