My rules?

I feel so weird right now.
A lot has happened since I returned,
But I don't seem to understand or absorve...
I still feel like it is just bad timing
If I had arrived a few days after
I would have missed it all
Or who knows?
It may had never happened.
Another count for my wishes
Another victory for reality
I feel bad and weak
No I can't let them know
I can never let it show
Nobody likes the ones who can't stand bad stuff
They don't come back to losers
Feeling is not easy
Sometimes I wish I was like before
But now I got used to it
To share and care
To seek for help
To seek for healing
I should never, I know
It breaks all the rules
The ones I made up alone
You will never need anyone
Or you'll do your best not to
Guess I have to remember it
Guess I'll have to grow back,
As cold as
-x-