Surprise?

Here comes that need again.
Along with it comes a strange and unexpected sadness.
I can not find a starting point for it,
Because deep down I know it is not like it has ever ended.
This time though, I can't seem to understand why all these things happened.
Maybe I should not had been gone for so long,
I do know I needed that.
Right now all I wanted was for things to go back the way they were,
That can't happen.
It is scaring me.
Too many new things from people I knew before...
Maybe it is just to show me others are capable of hiding the same way I am.
Well, I was the one who used to love findings and surprises.
-x-