Beliefs

What do you believe in?

Just difficult to answer this little question is.

Eventually I find it easier to answer to the opposite

What do you not believe in?

But as it may seem the same thing,

changing the question gives me the opportunity

to avoid thinking about a lot of confusing things.

When I try to think of the first one,

when I hope I have found enough answers for myself,

somebody asks it again and then it all falls apart.

It is messy and complicated.

I do feel like these things should not be demanded to someone,

we just find it easier to ask than to think by our own.

If you just demand, there is no point in talking about it.

Two monologues are not the same as a dialogue.

If you never think and just demand,

do get ready to do some good listening.

If what you hear does not make you upset or confused,

do remember that believing in everything

is not actually different from believing in nothing.

-x-

Presque

Now it is about to end.

I don't know yet how I am supposed to feel,

I have requested it, I have thought so much of it.

Right now I can not avoid feeling kinda sad.

It is funny how this all happened,

how this changed me somehow.

She was definitely right, I did change.

It's just that I don't feel like I changed a lot...

Maybe as I started accepting somethings,

as I stoped worrying so much,

time just proved me right.

It is different.

Now I head to the places I know the most,

feeling like nothing remained the same.

A twist of roles...

And so is my fate.

-x-

Wondering

"My heart wants to fly, my mind wants to try"
What to do then? I am used to follow my mind and nothing else.
Not for the reasons one might think.
Mostly because my heart seems really tired of all this.
My mind is capable of forgeting,
my silly heart never...
I don't really think it is a bad thing to run away
And now that my life is empty of imediate obligations
I don't see remaining here as something bad
I have never done something that crazy for my mind
In the end, and deep inside, I know I have to go
Maybe I'll come back...
Just to not upset my mind
And show new life to my heart.

-x-

Saudade

The only feeling I can express in no other language.
The single thing that makes me want to return.
Explaining is not easy at all,
one can say "it's homesick", but I only know it brings me down.

People are just fun, just strange sometimes.
I wonder if I am the only one who's wrong, seeing things no one does.
Sometimes I wonder if there is no wrong,
if it is enough just to be, just to breath.

This lack of sense.
Too much on my mind.
My heart wants to fly,
My mind wants to try.

-x-

Stay

They make me think I've done so much.
They make me believe I really should trust.
But I can do nothing but repeating the same li(n)es.
Telling a story I don't know where to hide.
At least I can say they know all my flawns.
I can even bet they know things I myself don't.
If it is all about friendship as some might say,
then I hope it is all about it someday.
Hidding is no fun when no one is trying to find you.
Pretending is no good if you are the only one confused.
This awkward sadness takes my strengh away.
Wish I could find it.
Wish I could make it stay.

-x-

Needs

Need to write
pms I guess
just missing everything
my chest

Pain is not to bear
to learn it is
love is not to hurt
to teach - maybe how to bear ,it is

Need to party
because of boys for sure
missing security
my trust

Distance is not to let one down
to give time and space it is
knowledge is not to put one aside
to help one through the distance it is

Let it go I will
no need for worries, time is about to come
hate not to know
hate not to predict
hardest challenge ever
coming down on my knees

-x-

That's just us

Best friends are forever are they not?
When time tries to prove me wrong...nothing stands out but this.
My single response is: yes they'll always be.
It doesn't matter,
No time, no fights, no distance.
That's just us.

If you ever thought laughing like a drunk old man,
talking shit all day long,
and..geez...always having something to talk about;
is something weird and silly...
Well, guess nothing like these things ever happened to you.
But if you went back to a good time memory while reading my reckless words,
you can by far keep these words with you,
for times like the ones I have and will always face
Going back to a good time memory and somehow trying to understand what happened...
Sometimes I just don't care...
Sometimes you'd rather not to care...

Well...guess this is it...
I am on the edge of it...
Another year, another unit of time
When the best things never come alone
When life insists to prove you are wrong
It is better not to measure what matters not
It is easier just to feel
Just that.
I just thought...
Don't worry little heart.
-x-